Now what?

[melweb]

So its been a few days since I have been able to get on here. It was quite a whirlwind weekend and boy did The Three Faces of H, show up.

After much deliberation and soul searching, rereading DR, and making sure I was doing it for the right reasons (mine), I decided to go to the party with H. Figured I'd look smoking hot, be happy and social--all part of my 180's.

By Thu he was being aloof and distant. I make a hasty retreat to my bedroom.

Friday he was civil and we had some pleasant convo. By that evening, we were having great convo, and after some R talk, he said he loved me and he wasn't going anywhere!

Ok...now we are getting somewhere.

Sat nite at party and after, we are having a good time, being loving etc. Back at home, he goes back to "I am still struggling with staying. But that should be progress as 2 weeks ago I was definitely leaving." I agree with him.

Sun he was going to go to church with me, but a co worker called him and asked to meet up with him a few hours away. His kid is at a hockey tourney, Mike agrees. I am not suspicious at this juncture. Hes going to watch hockey and he'll be back by dinner. He is gone when I get home from church.

By 3, I get a text saying it was farther than he thought, he brought some clothes so he did not have to worry about driving back. Ok. NOW my alarms are screamimg!

My original plan for today was to just keep doing whats working. That seems to be: lots of compliments, happy attitude, upbeat, giving him space, not pursuing.

Now, I don't even know. My heart is sunk. It felt like we were making such progress