Julie - I have a sneaking suspicion my H was trying to get me to work at a job I would not be able to handle for more than a week or two, just so he could go to the judge and say, "See? She can work more than part time." At the time, I would have done anything to make him happy, even if it was to my detriment. While I am not happy about the events that transpired, there is a part of me that wonders if things didn't work out exactly as they should. I would have literally killed myself physically in order to prove that I was willing to do anything to save the M. That would have harmed me for years and years down the road.
If that suspicion is indeed in your mind, then I have to caution you to be very, very careful. On the other hand, my H didn't act the way I thought an H worried about R should act. On later reflection, I was partly right. But another part that I wasn't really thinking about was just how badly our M was damaged. He just didn't feel close to me at all anymore - he'd already fired me as his wife, and was watching carefully to see if I went back to old behaviours. Of course, I did, because I was a nervous wreck and unable to relax in that atmosphere.
Just tread lightly, keep your eyes open, try not to jump to conclusions, and take it one minute at a time. Keep DBing to the best of your ability, without selling yourself out at the same time. It takes a LOT of work to repair a broken marriage.I would love to see a M restored, and would be so happy if you're able to do it.
I'll be here supporting you every step of the way.
