Its obvious she is in a great deal of pain and feels this is the only way toward her own healing. Right or wrong, that is how she feels right now and you do have to accept that. If it were me and she said she needed the D I would tell her "I don't believe in D but I will not stand in your way if that's what you need".
Even if you do D it doesn't mean its the end, you can keep on DB'ing and find yourself. Maybe in time she can find herself and you two can make things work. Many times people need to be able to let go before they can walk back to the M and sometimes that means to D first.
Regardless, its a rough situation to be in Ripe, I hope you both can breathe soon no matter what happens.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
