You're saying way too much and many of the comments you do have will only be taken in the wrong way and she will react defensively. That will cause you to react and it will likely turn sour. I've been told in the past saying less is much better and more effective than saying more. Even if you don't think its enough or they listened, it turns out they do and it works so much better. I've yet to learn how to do it in my posts to others on this forum.
You don't need to argue these points or what shes saying. State your position and if needed give one instance to support it and then move on. The more you try to defend yourself the more reactive the situation gets and the less each of you really listen. ('The Solo Partner' is the book where I learned to break that reactive cycle, highly recommend).
This is a perfect opportunity to state your position in a way that shows her you are not the same man. Yes, her A is going to cloud her judgement and may not change anything but you can still work on you during it. You have a coach, what do you think they would advise you doing?
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
