Recent Hurricane

[Fogg]

Just caught up on your sitch NateG. Wanted to thank you a while back for those songs on my thread also, I really liked the second you posted.

First thing, I love the comments by SM34 earlier in your thread. Very good stuff. I'm surprised I haven't read more by him in the past as his comments are very similiar to what I've been doing in my sitch. Follow your coaches advice the best you can, they are the professionals. Many of us on here will have opinions, some will work better for your stich than others. You just have to realize what works for one person may not work for the next. We all offer the opinions of what has worked for us in the hopes it might help another. While there are alot of similarities and general things to avoid your path may involve something different. One persons most effective thing to do is back off and go dark while it would be a disaster for another.

I've had some recommendations from my coach that seemed to go against much of what the forum advised but I felt it was the right thing to do at the time. Just remember at the end of the day whatever advice you follow will have effects on your stich that you will have to live with.

This may be the hardest thing in life you will ever have to experience and I can see you will struggle with patience and not reacting to her through anger. You made an assumption she was talking to OM and reacted to it. Not the best thing to do, you knew that already. Regardless of how angry we get in these situations we cant let it define our actions. Running on emotions and letting it control us will not help you in any situation with her. You said she doesn't like when you get angry, meaning this is something you should be working on. The WAS has two core beliefs that support their mindset to walk away. The first is that they know you intimately and the other is they don't believe you will ever change. Seeing you angry only supports her decision that D is whats best for everything. Its something that drives her toward it.

Do some reading on OM and get that out of your system. Don't let it take up any space in your mind. She may be deeply in love with him right now, or believe she is. Only time will tell if that's true or not and its nothing you can control anyway. You have the space and time to work on the issues that led to your M breaking down. She had her role in things, but that's for her to figure out. Right now you have yours.

If you don't believe in D or want a D, then don't file for D because your angry at her right now because of OM. Feelings change all the time, don't make decisions based on what your feeling today.