I'd like to see you post more regularly. Coping with loss is one thing, but if you're going to go through this pain you might as well learn and grow from it. Dig deeper and stay in touch!
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
Hey all, thanks for checking in. I think, by hanging out here too much, it hurts with the detaching.
But, now, I am pretty well detached and all but dropped the rope, I should be able to keep posting. I'm in a good place. Good to hear from you, Ancaire and Zues. Ancaire, the Southern US is a great place to live! :-)
Me - Mid 40's W - Mid 40's Married 20 No kids BD - 7/2015 ILYB... Moved out 2 days later Suspect EA
Merry Christmas to you Ancaire. I hope you are doing well too.
Christmas without my wife has been a downer. Absolutely.
I met my in-laws for dinner out Wednesday night, and then back to their house to talk for a bit. They've taken this incredibly hard. She's cut them out of her life, and is just being hateful to them. My family is coming by in a little to have dinner. I will survive this and be okay. The guilt of blowing all of this up will not be on my shoulders.
Me - Mid 40's W - Mid 40's Married 20 No kids BD - 7/2015 ILYB... Moved out 2 days later Suspect EA
Apparently the in-law meet up wasn't well received by my spouse. Claimed to have been blindsided by my visit. But did not rant. After visiting with them for Thanksgiving, how could a X-Mas meet up be a surprise? I like my in-laws. Always have.
Also wants me to have a relationship with her parents. She also desires a relationship with me and my family, but understands if that is not possible. So cold. How do they get so cold?
My Mother decided to not come to the X-Mas meal because she is still upset about wife. Collateral damage.
Me - Mid 40's W - Mid 40's Married 20 No kids BD - 7/2015 ILYB... Moved out 2 days later Suspect EA
I have the same thing going on with my in laws and mother. My mom saw W and OM out together at a bar one night and has been spitting venom ever since. She was so upset that night that she went home and had too much to drink and tripped and fell and broke her arm! My mom is almost 60 years old and broken bones are not a good thing at that age. I too am very close with my W family and they are getting tired of her crapola as well. Of course W is living at MILs house right now and I'm sure is feeling that pressure from her mom. This Christmas was the first time in 18 years that both of our families were not together. It was truly heartbreaking for everyone except WW. I had a hard time with it but have decided that she can't get in the way of my relationship with the grandparents of our children and they are really great folks.
M: 39 W:38 D: 11 S: 7 T: 18 M:13 I suspect problem: 8/15 ILYB: 9/15 Never quit on love I ask her to leave:10/15
My wife also suggested meeting up for a drink, to catch up. To catch up? To catch up? Really? That just trivialized 20 years of marriage. I'd even go as far as calling it marginalizing it. Amazing. I read that and wanted to throw my phone.
Me - Mid 40's W - Mid 40's Married 20 No kids BD - 7/2015 ILYB... Moved out 2 days later Suspect EA
jjal - you could throw your phone...or you could see that she just reached out to you. How long has it been since she was interested in anything about you?
You've been away for awhile, but remember DB principles. You don't want to bar and permanently shut the door to her getting back home, do you?
The fact that she's cutting out her parents screams MLC to me. If it's a crisis, it will end at some point. What do you want at the end? Are you happy with her out of your life?
If you're wanting to leave even a glimmer of hope for R, don't throw your phone. Meet with her. Check on her and see how she's doing. No R talk - just let her know you've not crossed her out of your life permanently.
If you're leaving hope somewhere for her to come back into your life, keep posting and let us help you with this. You were there for me when I first arrived here, in a panic (Judy) - I would love to be able to help you out in return.
I've grown a lot since then. I've learned a lot, and see endless possibilities. My own M is dead, gone. But should H ever wake up one day, I want him to be able to find his way home. I still care about the man, at the end of the day. I won't go back to what we had - but I'd be more than willing to help us build something newer, better, and stronger.
