Rouky I was so amazed at your strength that I didn't address the thoughts in your post! I am so excited that you are listening to classical music. It is a more complex expression of emotion but for me is a more fulfilling one. I would suggest to you to go see Beethoven's Ninth Symphony played live. It is for me the easiest to connect with as the movements take me to all of the most powerful emotional moments in my live. The movie Immortal Beloved does a very good job of explaining the depth of the composer's pain when he expressed it musically. There is a scene in it in which the second movement is played in conjunction with an episode from Beethoven's youth that gave me a lot of clarity about my childhood. Even to the extent of the child running through the field and lying in the water to look at the skies. Even through all of his pain and mine there is greater glory that will bless our lives and give us peace. The Ode to Joy at the end of the movie will take you to a place that you may never have been but going forward will always come to mind in the best moments of your life. The music is indeed the voice of our creator and the gift of live that he has given us. Once we can see that with clarity we will have the strength to face whatever comes our way.
Just a little suggestion to help you deal with the pain of this process and although your tears will seem unending you will feel healed in the end of this movie. I love you and hope that you find peace and enjoy the Hollidays!
M:53 W:47 M:15 years. S:18 S's: 30 & 28 from previous marriage. BD: 3/14 Divorced January 17.
