Recent Hurricane

[NateG79]

*sigh*
Okay. I screwed up. Big time tonight. It all started when my WW had asked if I could bring the Play Pen to her house so that my daughter could sleep easier. I was heading that direction anyways, and I got everything together and headed over there before going out with some friends. As I walked up, I heard my WW on the phone outside the door. I stopped, and I heard some of the conversation. I heard her patronize some of the things I had requested of her for our Christmas Day arrangements. And it sounded like she was discussing divorce with OM. I got VERY emotional. When she hung up the phone, I knocked on the door. I went in, intially very calm and gave her the play pen, and almost made it out of the house.

At the last second, I turned and said something really mean. I said "If you're going to talk *#$% about me , at least do it to my face." She stated that she wasn't talking crap about me. I didn't believe her. I got angry, I slammed her door, and walked away. I scared my D2, and my WW. She texted me and blasted me for the whole event. I apologized and validated as much as I could. We had kind of a hashing out by text, I called her out about her continued affair with OM. She told me she would talk to me again soon. Turns out she was talking with her mom. I feel really bad about flying off the handle. I shouldn't have done it. I know that she doesn't like me getting angry like that.

This week has been a roller coaster and my emotions got the best of me today. I really feel like I took huge steps back. I feel so bad, and so ashamed of myself about reversing the work I'd done so far. I feel so bad. I don't know what to do. I feel like I cost all the work I'd put in so far.