ok I'm all caught up now.
scratch the book --- scratch the gift advice.

re: the cake eating ... listen to Job and Cali and all the other wise ones here. I think it's perfectly ok to set a limit. For me, I feel like a B when there's a certain ... "edge" for lack of a better word? to my boundary. It's not anger, because healthy anger is ok ... it's the edge of either passive aggressiveness or outright vindictiveness ... maybe treating them the way they treat us? that makes me feel bad about my actions. So, I really like Ha's advice about sleeping on it. I don't know about you, but that's a real challenge for me because I'm so used to jumping immediately when H calls -- that's what I've done for 26 years --- hard to change that overnight. When I take that step back and wait, respond vs. react, good things happen and I feel much better about myself, so that's the best advice I can share. Hope it helps!

... i too have serious abandonment issues. the good news is, HEY - this is my biggest fear yet somehow I"m not dead yet from this, so maybe there's a cosmic plan. who knows.

anyway, keep posting. know that we are all here for you. xoxoxoxoxo

M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver