I had a 2x4 moment when I read Cali's latest updates, it really gave me a jolt back into the reality of my own sitch. I have become complacent, I know h is working on healing himself and moving towards an "us" again but is not a done deal and I really need to remember that.
The other post that resonated with me was by mleigh - about wanting a family unit and feeling safe within it. There has been a lot about Cake Eating and the time of year bringing them all out of the woodwork - it slightly worries me now that this is what h is doing - that coming to visit me for Christmas is about having his family around him as he misses it, not about wanting to see me and it happens to be Christmas. Last Christmas ow was on scene and it was all about her, this year its about his own family ....or is it? idk, its playing on my mind now.
So with all this in mind, I signed my new work contract. Its not my dream job and I don't intend staying it long term but its a really good deal. My new hours/days mean I now finish 7pm Friday and don't go back in till 1pm Monday. I have also negotiated flexi day Friday meaning I can do a half day on the weekends that I go visit h or h comes to me. On top of that I am to be given a mini me to cover my evenings/days off so that my dept runs at a constant level. Interviews started this week and I have been sitting in on them, getting a say in who the new person is. For someone who started as a cleaner in the company 7 months ago I feel I have done well. Hard work and lots of aches and pains later, I have successfully got a mon-fri job.
I mentioned the new contract to h, a couple days later he asked me about it. By then I had read Cali's update and signed it. I told him about the new proposal and what I had negotiated, he was so pleased for me and said I was worth it. I told him that I had signed the papers and it starts end of January, that I feel this is the right thing for me right now and as things change between us then I will re look at moving. He replied sounds good and it will look good on my cv and give me a great reference when I do leave. I replied " exactly, this is about laying the groundwork for future jobs" I said I am looking forward to seeing him next week and he replied he is looking forward to seeing me too.
Since then we have been texting quite a bit, just keeping it light and a bit silly at times. I feel that after this visit I won't mention seeing him again, let him make the next move, it will be interesting to see what he is like after visiting his family in the UK.
So for now my world continues to inch forward, sometimes its about me, sometimes its about h, I just keep muddling along as we do.
I had a nice newsy email from MIL, I am making more of an effort with the ILs now. We are skyping Christmas Day with them, they are so happy that h, the g/kids and me will be together.
Hope everyone having a good weekend, thanks for reading
