Thanks Fo. Time for me to focus on me now, the kids and the trip!!!! I've got to go buy some sunscreen for their stockings!! And new bathing suit for me (little scared about that one)
You know, I don't think the walk aways really get how many people they affect by their actions. Not just us LBS, but so many more. Even my poor dog is devastated that " daddy" no longer comes home.
Whenever I get a chance I make it clear that I did not want my marriage to end and never wanted and still don't want a divorce. I really don't care how that makes me look to his "friends". They don't truly know me and what happened in our relationship.
One thing that I have learned from all of this turmoil, is that perceptions can differ so much from person to person. I can't change how one person sees things different from how I see it, but I truly try to understand and accept that their reality is different from mine.
Jpeg, I'm sorry that your dreams of peaceful retirement with your H went out the window by his selfish actions.
Di-mond in the rough M-45 H-38 My children S-25 D-23 T 5 M 4 H left April Fools Day 2015
Di - the perception of reality thing has also been a revelation to me. I always thought that I knew "the truth" I always saw things for what they were, no rose colored glasses I still don't understand how I didn't "see" his unhappiness - as my mother says - well he was one heck of an actor then - because EVERYONE thought he was madly in love with me
Hi Mutatio - I am doing well today. I am starting to get excited about the trip and trying to focus on that and finishing shopping for Christmas. But H keeps texting asking what I want for Christmas and when I want to use cottage ( I told him already - he deleted text so doesn't remember I don't want to answer him - I haven't told him we will not be here for Christmas. I guess I am doubting my decision to be gone over Christmas. I have mixed feelings. He broke our family but I want to keep it together
Hi Mutatio - I am doing well today. I am starting to get excited about the trip and trying to focus on that and finishing shopping for Christmas. But H keeps texting asking what I want for Christmas and when I want to use cottage ( I told him already - he deleted text so doesn't remember I don't want to answer him - I haven't told him we will not be here for Christmas. I guess I am doubting my decision to be gone over Christmas. I have mixed feelings. He broke our family but I want to keep it together
There's absolutely only one thing you want. WH to end his affair, go no contact for life and move home committing to a plan for marital recovery.
The internet is 90% complaining and entitlement and I hate it because I deserve better!
Jpeg - I battled the urge to buy H a Christmas gift. Finally decided, no, he doesn't get that from me. He's torn our family to smithereens, abandoned me when I need him most, and I want to buy him a gift? WTF is wrong with me?
Yeah. Same problem you have. I love the man.
Don't do it. Stick to your guns. It's the best chance we have.
I know this one too! It is so hard to resist buying them things. It is my H's birthday tomorrow too! I have bought a card and the same gift I bought when we had only just met a few weeks before his birthday 19 years ago. Yep, I know, wrong thing to do. I may not give them in the end, I don't know.
I have, however, bought him a gift for birthday and Christmas from the children. Nothing too expensive or amazing because as you say, he's torn our family apart so...
Last minute packing. Heading out early tomorrow am flight This will be a very different Christmas experience. A real "get away from it all" type of Christmas. This time last year I was a wreak. I couldn't listen to Christmas songs or even go out in public. Just seeing everyone excited about the holiday and thinking of special times with family was heart breaking. I really want this to be a positive experience for the kids one that will make memories for a life time.
