Adventures of PP, Woofie, and the WAW (9)

[PigPen]

Thank you everyone for your positive comments, this road still has much to be walked.

I just did the latest dog swap with STBXW. It was our fastest and least engaging. She was in a store when I pulled up and a few minutes later walked out talking and laughing with someone else on her cell phone. It's odd, I actually fell in love with my W the first time I heard her laugh and this time it kind of annoyed me.

I've posted about this in the past but one of our marital issues was how often I would be waiting for her to come in from work with dinner ready or just ready for us to begin our evening after a long day of work and she'd be out in her car on her phone. Sometimes for up to a half hour.

I would get upset when she came inside and she'd tell me that she just couldn't hang up with anyone. Somehow every time I was pulling in the drive way knowing she was there I had no problem telling whomever I was on the phone with, "Just pulling in at home I'll have to pick this up again with you tomorrow."

Seeing her walking towards me talking to someone else knowing I had been out there waiting for her triggered that again. It's a lesson in patience for me for sure. And a lesson in "everything's not about me". But it still annoyed me because it made me again feel like anything that has to do with me isn't a priority. That was a big issue for me in our M.

Probably reading into this too much, she was just on the phone.

We hugged quickly, she gave me a quick rundown on Woofie, and then hugged me again and that was it. No more than five minutes total. I think it's almost better at this point so I don't spend the next two weeks trying to dissect and mind read what she really meant by what she said. The mysticism around her continues to be less and less and I'm able now to view her as she is. That's helpful.

Last time she informed me that one of her hesitations around reconciliation was that I was so underdeveloped in the personal development arena, and she was so advanced that we would go back to being a mismatch...it upset me greatly until I realized that someone advanced would actually never say anything like that. Plus I know where I stand in my own growth circle and want to be with someone that recognizes me for the work I've done and how I live, not someone that projects her own superiority onto me.

I'm a bit blah, dealing with this cold and knowing the holidays are next week. Looking forward to having my dog back and having a mellow rest of the weekend.

Cheers everyone, and as always, I'm grateful for all of the support and advice that you each bring.

PP