I think your W's actions fall in line with those of a WW. You have to protect yourself, Nate. Protect your health, finances, property, etc. Protect your child as best as you can. Sorry to say, you cannot trust your W.
You don't have to talk to her when she calls. I suggest you not accept any calls after 6:00 p.m. Let it go to voice mail. Don't read texts, FB, or emails. If she comes in person, simply tell her you don't want to have R talks at night. You have to learn to tell her, "This doesn't work for me".
If you are not currently taking meds for anxiety, I suggest you make a visit to your doctor and discuss how all of this is affecting your nervous system.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
