Should I tell her not to say that to the W? It is very close to my W's standards that she set and failed and I don't want it getting worse with her guilt if mutual friend says what are you worried about there was no infidelity.
You probably want to protect her, however, you need to step away and let friends and family say whatever they want to say to her. She needs to deal with it, without you trying to shield or control who says what to her.
I don't remember any LBH who first arrived here who came anywhere close to guessing what the WW was thinking, feeling, or doing. Even those who were M a long time had no clue, b/c she has a different mindset. You will be astonished to learn just how cold and self-centered a WW can be. When you read about other WW's, you may think that your W is different from them. She's not. In time, you will see where she had just concealed the truth from you. I think after Christmas is over, you will see things shift.
We tell the LBH'S to focus on themselves, b/c they can not control the WW.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
