Striving to keep the peace within

[mleigh4]

Cali, I see I made a mistake in how I reacted to H. I feel badly about it because I know I hurt him. I could have handled it very differently....how will he see me as a safe place, someone he can talk to, if I bite his head off, right? I told him he can talk to me anytime about anything....so he opened up....and I clubbed him. Not nice and not the person who I want to be.

I saw this behavior my whole life with my mom. She would stomp, pout, spew horrible things when all she really wanted was love and attention. Instead she pushed so many people away. It's like your own personal sabotage.

I love your idea about referring to your plan, not your emotions. I will keep that in mind and hopefully do better next time

Weird thing last night. I have not heard from H since Tuesday night. He called at 9:47 last night. I answered friendly and he just started rambling on about how he wants to ask S if he will help him decorate his tree or not, otherwise he will do it himself. He said S would not help him all week and that it really hurt his feelings. I could tell he was outside during our conversation, I could hear the wind, he sounded really upset and flustered. I told him I understood his frustration, S isn't much into the tree decorating anymore. I told him he could decorate it for himself? Then asked if he wanted to talk to S? He said yes.

So, S told him he would help him and they hung up. The whole thing was so weird. Where the heck was he and why so upset about this that he had to call at 10 o'clock at night? I was mostly floored that he has had an undecorated Christmas tree in his house for over a week. I just wanted to reach through the phone and hug him, he sounded terrible.