Letting go of the child inside

[ATPeace]

Ok so I am in a clearer state of mind and I am trying to see things clearer

It is my wife who wants out of the marriage

I feel that the longer we are apart them more she will move away from me emotionally I understand that if this is something she wants to happen then it will happen.

I have fear that she has her needs both emotionally and physically that she needs met and she will find these somewhere else. Neither of us have strayed during the marriage and during our marriage we both felt that this would be pretty much the worst thing we could ever do.

Now we are only married on paper there is little to stop her finding happiness elsewhere.

How long do people stay in limbo for ?

We get along ok ...I do not know how much of it is show and how much is the real emotions I have been doing things wrong over the months I have been trying hard to keep a connection try and build conversation look for ways to build up intamacy. We spend time together watching TV we have been out as a family just the other day my W and I went out for a pizza meal ..just the two of us. I felt dreadful afterwards It gives me false hope

A few days ago I posted about something I had seen on her facebook page about a frog in boiling water and Azz mentioned that I was the frog... I did not see this at the time, it talked about getting out while you still can. She was posting this about her getting out of our situation, yet it can work both ways.

Fear I have fear [censored] loads of it

I am fearful if we divorce move to separate houses what effect this will have on our children being pulled from house to house child swap what if a child gets hurt when in my care. My W is very skilled with childcare this is her job our two year old is developing very quickly my W has 7 days to give her love and support to our daughter if we share custody then this will reduce to 3/4 days ...she is hoping that I will give her as much as she gives on the days that I have the children.

If she feels I have been abusive why would she let me have the children for 3/4 days and her not be with them it makes no sence

If things go wrong then resentment will build rapidly as might her hate or anger ...I know a am looking at the worst case.

My W feels that she has been living in an abusive marriage I do not know how I can fix this. She believes that the reason the abuse has stopped is because she took action and ended the marriage ...noting to do with the fact that I have made reall efforts to be a better man.

How long do people stay in limbo at what point do they decide to move forwards without wanting to fight any longer for the marriage

This keeps coming back to my W wanting to divorce and wanting to be in two separate houses if this is what she wants and if this is the only option then I should surly give her what she wants .

she has told me she feels she has been in an abusive relationship how am I going to feel or react if I see her in the arms of another man ..with anger ?? I do this then she will say that I am still abusive ...how would you feel or react seeing your loved one in the arms of another person.

I want to continue the fight for my marriage I am not ready to give up. The pain of not having my W hurts.

I would welcome any thoughts

Thank you
Atp