New or false hope?

[Zues126]

Remember Cadet's advise: Detach, and No Expectations.

If you are validating him in hopes he will respond the way you want him to, you have expectations and are attached to the outcome.

I understand your anger. I had a LOT of anger. At XW for a long time. Then at the world once I saw how many people acted this way and how many more were complicit with this behavior. And of course at the court systems for legitimizing it. I'm sure I still have some smoldering embers of anger which is why I'm so introverted lately, I withdraw from the world because I think I just don't want to be close to anyone anymore most days.

My thoughts are simply that you should continue to be patient and not take any action. If you 'gave up and got D' you'd still have to work through a ton of anger. It wouldn't change how you felt. So getting divorced wouldn't speed up the process of getting through your pain or anger. But that doesn't mean you have to try to keep finding love for WAH or trying to rekindle the desire for your M.

For me it was learning that I could truly let go of the M in my HEART without acting differently with my BEHAVIOR. Bottom line, on the outside I was just doing my thing, being the man I wanted to be, working, parenting my child, and letting life pass. On the inside I was working through my emotions, posting, talking with my friends, and breathing deep.

Keep posting Julie, I think beneath your anger there is pain, and behind that pain is a deeply profound and sensitive spirit that has tremendous heart. You are already an amazing person, I can't wait to see who you are after transcending all of this.