I keep thinking how did I get here? How did I get to the point that I am posting on the net because I need to vent and strangers will understand more than my own husband?
We have been married 17 years. For the most part we get along very well. We very rarely disagree about major issues..the kids, finances, work ethics, religion, etc. We are basically on the same page. Except when it comes to Sex. I want it...he doesn't.
It started gradually. He started putting rules down. No oral sex my way, then no oral his way, then him on top only. After that it went to 1 X month, then every 3 months. Now, we have had sex only 3 times since Nov. And those times only because I begged.
At first I thought he might be having an affair. But he isn't, he loves me and he respects me. He asks my opinion about things that are going on because he wants to know my thougths. He just has absolutely no desire to have sex. (Side note, did the Doctor thing everythings ok)
I read the book SSM in one afternoon. I was sorry to see that so many people were going through this but glad at the same time that I was not alone.
The problem is that I now feel so lonely without that imtimate contact that I am starting to pick fights. I know that this is just adding to the problem. Because now he is on the defensive. And he's fighting back. I am trying to find out what is wrong and now its coming back...."I just lie there, I need to firm up, I need to add hours to my work schedule because he's too tired from working so hard" A different excuse each time. Nothing is his fault. It's all mine. And he's never done that before. We've never done this before.
He told me yesterday that he thinks we get along great with the exception of the sex thing and can't I just let it go. I told him no, I can't. I don't want a roommate. I want a husband. I want to share that with him. Something that he and I have with no one else but each other. He just doesn't understand. Any ideas?
