Went out for a drive tonight given the option of staying in watching TV with the W playing happy family's I had to get out

Went to my mums but I really do not have anything to do here

So I have been given a heck of a lot of advice and I try to remember all the good advice that has been given to me

I know what I have to do but I cannot do this I do not feel that it should be me to make this decision. I do not need any advice I just need to vent

Me:48 W 41
M:18 T:26
2 D 18 & 4
2 S 17 & 13
Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation
D filed 06/17
Separate houses 10/17
D Final 29/12//17.