JGuy, what a beautiful post. When people talk about 'saving themselves' on this forum, they talk about just the kind of thing you are doing. I think when we are M or in a R, our partner often 'shores us up' and we don't really have to address some of these issues that lurk.

However, when BD happens, we are in such pain that different things happen. Some people run - find a new partner or other 'medicine' - others grow 'trauma growth.'

The thing about this growth is it opens doors to great peace and beauty, which have little to do with our nearest and dearest and everything to do with us and our experience of living life.

I'm so pleased for you that you are having such moments of wholeness and beauty. It sounds as though you are on a good path.

Take care xx

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus