Striving to keep the peace within

[mleigh4]

My mom got pregnant while my dad was home on leave from Vietnam. He was at war when I was born, continued to do 3 tours of duty, and was pretty messed when he was done. He left for Germany, stayed in the air force, and lived in many different places, wherever he was stationed. I never heard from him, I used to dream of him rescuing me from my depressed mom. I only met him once, when I was 18. He had come back to the states to live with his mom, his health was bad. He was an alcoholic and heroin addict, he died from liver disease when I was 19.

I often wonder if I am attracted to people who I want to rescue because of this. Weird thing is, I honestly thought H was better than me when we started dating. I thought he was too good for me, I knew I had daddy issues and he just seemed so together....turns out he was a mess himself!