Sooo... I think I did something very stupid last night.
My wife claims she's trying to work on our marriage, but I know that she's been in contact with the OM, and has recently texted him that she loves him (about a week ago). I try not to let it bother me, but it pisses me off since she can't say that to me. Although I suppose I should be happy that she has enough integrity to not say she loved me when she doesn't....
In this backdrop, I noticed that my wife seemed to be pulling away from me again. She sorta stays in the room with me while we watch TV/hang with the kiddos, but she isn't really connecting with any of us and lately she spends most of the time asleep. Yup, it's like she's pulling a reverse DB on me. My mistake is that I told her I noticed last night. Nothing dramatic, no mention of my fears (apparently justified) that she was still in contact with the OM, or that her attachment to the OM doomed our R. I was calm. Composed. Made direct eye contact. I just asked if we could set aside 1 hour for each other over the weekend because I felt we were drifting a bit.
Why the hell did I ask for 1 hour of quality time? I absolutely don't want to have a R talk. Not now, at least. WTF was I thinking? Partially, I know one of her LL is quality time. And I think I was trying to be more assertive at declaring when things seem off. But as soon as I said it, my brain started freaking out and yelled at me to STFU. But it was too late....
So now I'm stuck dealing with what I said. What think you? Good move? Bad Move? If I messed up, how do I salvage the situation? What is my best course of action?
I'm thinking of just having a normal conversation about safe topics: work, kids, logistics for her parents coming to town. Problem is we talk for about 15-30 minutes every night when she comes home from work so it might be tough to come up with new conversation....
Me-38 W-38; T-15 M-12; S10 and S6 BD - July 2016; EA confirmed; confronted Aug 2015 EA dissolved 12/2016
Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option - Maya Angelou
