So..towards peace and happiness..

[Sotto]

RD - thank you so much. You made me cry again. It is lovely that you see me that way and I appreciate you telling me that.

Bttrfly - I agree. I wouldn't describe H's childhood as traumatic - M&D both around and no major dysfunction or OP etc. However, he always described his Dad as emotionally unavailable and his Mum only really acknowledges pleasant things and doesn't want to face anything unpleasant and I know the kids have found that hard. But essentially, I think it is all about general coping skills and coming to terms with 'damage' from an earlier time in your life.

Pink, yes I'm looking forward to seeing SS. We'll have lunch with M&D, then I plan to take him to the bookstore and introduce him there too. I see what you're saying about the D - sad on the one hand and perhaps a relief on the other. I'll certainly be glad to have more financial security than I do now. You are right about the level of interaction. Life has been pretty busy and social right now and that does help me.

I was training all day yesterday and at the bookstore this morning. I may be out with a girlfriend tonight and I'm meeting up for lunch with my oldest friend and her S tomorrow. Monday is bookstore again, plus friends for coffee and helping out Santa on his sleigh in the evening!! Then a Xmas buffet in the office on Tuesday....all busy.

The slight dilemma I have is, should I wish H a Merry Xmas (we've not been in touch for a few weeks) or just leave it? I wasn't planning on getting a present or card for him. I think the most I would do is text....but I'm not sure whether to do that TBH...thoughts??

My last thing is, I've noticed that I feel rather better towards OW lately. Less angry & more balanced. Recognising she is just a young woman (probably with some damage as her last two R's were A's) trying to get her needs met and find happiness. It's unfortunate that I happened to be around and got hurt in the process - but I feel my feelings are settling somewhat wrt her. So that's progress I think.

Hope everyone is enjoying some pre-Xmas cheer xx