She Wants Me to Leave 3rd Time .....EA or not EA?

[isittoolate]

Hi Vise

Thanks for checking my sitch, I will be keeping an eye on yours too.

Today started well as W phoned me early just to vent about a mom of S11's best school buddy. We do a lot of favours for this mom and her boy and this morning W asked her for a small favour and was rejected - the other mom was 'too busy'. W rang me 'just to rant' - in her words. She knows I am supportive, a good listener and have been for years. She knows she can ring me ' just to get it off my chest'

But this afternoon W spoke on the phone to the consultant looking after FIL. It's bad news. Her Father is too ill to have a bronchoscopy and the consultant suspects advanced lung cancer. There is no treatment available and it's possible he will not come out of hospital again. He is 80 and deteriorating.

W was very very upset of course. Ironically, the mom she ranted about in the morning , came over to drop her son at our house - they had a school half day. W lost it and sobbed and sobbed on this moms shoulder for 25 minutes. The other mom stepped up and collected our S8 from school.

I was working away and didn't know a lot about it until the evening.W rang me to ask what time I would be home and tell me the news.
I had a 4 hour drive home and I think W spent a lot of that time ringing her sister and mother to tell them the news. SIL is devastated. MlL a little less.

By the time I got home W was emotionally drained and barely accepted a hug from me. I just want to show her my love in her hour of need - this is so so hard.

It was late when I got home and we had about 90 mins before bed. W was so drained and just wanted to watch TV. I offered her a shoulder/ neck rub which she accepted. I asked for feedback and she told me which bits were good and very good. She especially enjoyed the soft neck rub.

So the future is uncertain. W has her birthday on Saturday and is due to go out both Friday and Saturday nights, first with School moms and then on her bday with her best GFs. She is down and feels she shouldn't go out enjoying herself when her father is so ill. I said you can not halt your life even for this.

Sunday we planned to see Star Wars as a family - but she might go to see FIL in hospital - we shall see.

In the medium term - her Father might die any time over the next few weeks or months - it will be traumatic for her and her sister and mom. I need to be her rock. I so badly want to show her my love, but can't . I can be supportive and offer her a shoulder to cry in - that is all and it stinks