Just had a good cry. It was a long time coming. Feels like the tears are always bubbling just beneath the surface.
I was talking to my sister an hour ago and I lamented that I could not call my late Father, of blessed memory. I really had the urge to speak to him. He passed 5 years ago. I miss him so much - all the more so when I am in despair.
When my late Father passed we saw a huge rainbow, so whenever we see a rainbow we feel my Father's presence. Since my Father's passing, I have only seen rainbows a handful of times. My sister just called me back to tell me that she saw the most beautiful rainbow where she lives. Hence the cry. I am so thankful for my family and friends. I truly feel loved. Thanks Dad, for looking out for me. I miss you.
I am not sure why my fears get the best of me, but they really do. I keep telling myself that nothing has really changed, but each day feels like a new challenge. I just keep putting one foot in front of the other.
I have been dealing with this since August 2013. I'm just so tired.
