Confessions of a former control freak and crazymaker.
Karen asked how i cornered H. Well, it can happen with large or small issues. For example, weekly grocery shopping. H actually likes to be involved in menu planning and even shopping. But is not always organised. Soo, I am quite happy deciding what we'll eat, buy the stuff, and then just tactlessly tell him that it's done, and THEN fret about whether the menu for week is ok, take out angst on him, imply that because he was not available, I HAD to make decisions, and btw, WHY was he not available...
With major issues, it could be our annual holidays. H likes to take his time to decide. I don't like to pay full fare for flights, so prefer to book early. Many times, I've gone ahead, booked, waited for him to confirm decision, then produce tickets as if i just acted on decision. SOMETIMES, final decision is different from tickets I bought earlier (gambles don't always pay off) so then my 'invented' crisis gives me a platform to 'sell' new destination/package to him. Sooo much stress for me, which I'm sure manifests in other undesirable traits.
No more. Even if procrastinating bankrupts us, I'm sticking to my 180 of letting H be the leader. I've discovered he is VERY good at this, once i back off. Am getting better at wool gathering (I'm not sure this term translates, it means day dreaming)
