Wife wants to separate at end of school year

[Bhuda1]

As Christmas draws closer, My feelings of fear and anxiety are getting the better of me. The fear that this is our last Christmas together as a family.
Things around the house are fine. We interact, discuss our days and the children.

I get the feeling the W is enjoying the in house separation. Occassionally I have been sleeping on the couch. No explanation is given to my W. I just let her go to bed first and I make myself comfortable on the couch. She does not ask why I decided to sleep on the coach.

I am not looking forward to Christmas at all this year. Just don't feel like celebrating at all. I have no idea what her mind set is. I refuse to bring up any conversation that deals with our sitch or M but I question this decision sometimes. How counter productive would it be to open up dialogue about our marriage since we haven't had any discussion since the bomb was dropped on me. I know it would be best for our children if we stayed together. If a separation is inevitable, I need more ammunition to win her back.

I want to see what the Christmas Holiday Brings. If I do not see any change in my spouse I may have to go against the rules and open up dialogue as I need something to gauge if what I have been doing is working. She has never been one to open up unless I pry.

I have decided that I may need total detachment from her after the holidays. That will include less communication, more time away from the house with little explanation as to where I am going and what I am doing. Avoiding her as much as possible while at home together.

I have also been working on what I will say if and when she decides to separate in full. I hope I can keep the tears back, be strong and confident in myself. I will not beg her to stay, in fact I will suggest I will help find her a place to live if she has not already made arrangements.

I may be getting ahead of myself but I need to prepare for the conversation.