My sweetheart RD... I really don't know where I would be without your kind words, your attention and so much caring.
Why life put us so far away? It would be so nice to sit down and have that cold beer over our disgraces and adventures. That's I have no doubt.
I am still thinking that a visit to Ireland could be a very good vacation plan for me. Right now it is also cold there and to run on those bikes to the top of the mountain, it's a little to dangerous and I need to come back in one piece.
Yes I am angry. S15 had dinner with XH Monday night and then got home and asked me to go to two stores to get some school project materials. I was in my PJ's already, doing some paperwork.
I looked at him and asked why he didn't ask his dad instead since they were out and about. He said that he can go out for dinner and nothing more. That he does not want his dad in his life any other way.
He said: "You know I pick on you all the time, but for me you are my mom and dad my whole life. I never had a dad and I know I won't ever have one. We are stuck with you and you with us and that is our family and will always be, and I am OK with that."
I know I need to get rid of all these bad feelings and eventually this also will pass with time. But it cuts my heart in a million pieces that this insensitive, son of a gun is just so out of touch.
I decided to read some of the old stories on the board and just have that to my heart, to comfort me that it doesn't happen only for my family, but that other people survived all this.
I need to cleanse my soul and my brain because I still feel the urge to punch XH right in the middle of his face. If possible even brake his nose, so he would wake up and taste some coffee.
Well, I have a lot of work and need to concentrate as much as possible to get it done. I think that the XMas brake without XH around will be a brake we all need.
RD, thanks for the Portuguese words, you are getting this very fast. By the way, what is S20 major in college. S17 was accepted for the music program. As I told before, he is gifted for writing and making music. I just love his songs.
By the way, I did not have much time to investigate on you further. The place you work seems like paradise, the view I saw online is so green and gorgeous. Really nice place. Colorado is not bad either. These mountains are amazing. I would rather have more water around, but can't deny that this place is amazing.
We just had a snow storm, wake up Tuesday morning to a two feet of snow in my driveway, gosh, that was a lot of work to clean up that snow. Thank God for the boys. Had a better driving today, yesterday it was all snow and ice.
It's was around 3am my time (now it is almost 10am) that I was sitting in bed, paying some bills and thinking about you. Crazy hum. But I have comfort thinking about you, maybe because we have some sort of same situation in a way, with crazy spouses and a bunch of kids. Our lives are similar in a way.
And I am sorry we are in this confusion, I am sorry you found me here to maybe complicate things in our heads and hearts. Maybe that is the reason we are so many miles apart or we would certainly take the wrong decisions at the wrong time for the wrong reasons. At least like this, time is the one to decide our lives. What do you think?
By the way, I always remember that you mention you think the neighbors are dropping dirty laundry at your house. Now that is winter, my laundry room is a non stop deal.
If nothing else, be sure that I will be forever your best friend. As a matter of fact, I never had a guy super best friend. You are the first.
Love and hugs to you and to the kiddos.
Eu sei que eu sou forte, eu sei que eu nao quebro com facilidade. Eu estou machucada, ferida e meu lado mais selvage se protégé e se rebela. A vida me bateu de frente varias vezes, eu ja cai e sempre me levantei mais forte. Eu passo um periodo de desilusao e frustracao, mas o tempo cura as feridas e eu me levanto forte novamente. Isto tudo que eu estou passando eh so para eu ter certeza de que nao vou morrer vazia, de que tive uma vida cheia de aventuras.
Te quero com todo meu curacao e te admiro por ser forte tambem.
