All the advice you ever need was already given to you in previous threads. The point max is making is people can't continue to hold your hand through this and tell you what to do when you don't listen to it. At some point you have to figure it out yourself. It's really only going to happen 3 ways. You wise up and do a radical change to your actions. You push her out the door more and more until shes forced to spell it out for you though her actions. Suffering is involved in all the paths. Or what happened to me where you keep so enmeshed in what she's doing what you eventually break your own heart watching her fall in love with another man.
She's not going to just wake up and decide to keep the family. She is going to want to sell the house and the only reason she's in it right now is to save money and prepare for her new life. You think her staying is good and cohabiting is working but she's only doing it now becaue it let's her prepare for her new life. She wants to escape you and you continue to raise the temperature in that pot. Sorry but this is the truth.
I know how your thinking becaue I did it for months also. Snooping into many things to gauge how she's reacting and convincing yourself things are getting better. She's thinking about how happy her new life is going to be without you and we can't even discuss why that's wrong because you don't accept it thr way it needs to be accepted.
You're stuck. Until something changes you will continue being stuck. Suffering will do it, her pushing forward will do it, but you could do it also.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
