Striving to keep the peace within

[BrightFuture]

mleigh4, I agree with other opinions here about the cake eating. He is definitely cake eating. And it is up to you whether you want to allow it or not. Here is my take on this. You said that you would not be good at reconciliation, if it comes to it. Then you obviously have very high expectations on all of this. I bet there are a lot of people on this board who would give anything to have the situation you have for a possible reconciliation. What I mean is that there is NO OW! I don’t know if this would be any easier or not. I don’t remember any posters who reconciled with their spouses when there was no OW and if it was any easier. The only poster that comes to mind is labug, but I she was not sharing much detail (feelings) about her reconciliation.

I’m not saying that you should tolerate this cake eating thing, is you don’t feel like it. If you and your son are perfectly happy without H, then there is no point to allow him to be included into every activity you are doing. You need to think what is best for you and your son. I completely agree with that. But, will you be ok and happy if your H would stop wanting to do anything with you and you son and treat you like the strangers, and like you never existed? Which I get from my H, and it hurts. You say that there is something still holding you from completely ending this. I guess you will have to figure it out. I just want to make sure that you are doing what you feel is right for you and not doing things to punish H or show him what he might be missing. Because I see so much hope in your sitch. I might be wrong though… I don’t consider myself an expert or a vet in MLC. It is just my opinion.