You should be done with her! She's not treating you like a H, she's not treating you like a friend, she's not treating you like an acquaintance, she' s treating you like sh1t on her shoe!
I don't know all your sitch, I've only read the last few posts, but just stand up to her for your own self respect
Me49 W45 T15 M13 S11 S8 BD 11/15/11 & 3/27/12 Moved out 4/9/12 Moved back 4/23/12 W working on US 5/20/12 Now Piecing! May-Oct14 drifting Dec 14 W agrees to more QT BD Oct15 ILYBINILWY W filed 1/25/16
Tx, sorry for the stupid question but my head is spinning so bad and looking for clarification. When you make reference to 180. Are you suggestion I drop the rope and not support or offer attention as my 180?
I realize I need to let W go. Letting go will allow me to focus on myself to build confidence and get my life back on track; to enjoy life. But it's hard when we living under same roof and I have to see her daily (and be nice about it).
First thing is mentally stop focusing on OM and that R! (I did it before and can do it again.. I know I can!!) Give me strength.
123mich - I just read through all of this thread, but not the first. Can you tell me why you two are living in the same house? I'm kind of lost about this one. If she is indeed having an A with OM, right now, she needs to lose the benefits of being married.
The 180 is a full set of rules/steps/principles to live by in your situation. It was created by Michelle. It's described in DB book in detail. I've seen several members here lay it out in a thread. Learn it. Live by it. Your wife is behaving in a way that is tailor made for the 180. In your particular situation I truly believe it'll help get you where you want to be.
Instead of more of the same , you do a complete reversal.
Me49 W45 T15 M13 S11 S8 BD 11/15/11 & 3/27/12 Moved out 4/9/12 Moved back 4/23/12 W working on US 5/20/12 Now Piecing! May-Oct14 drifting Dec 14 W agrees to more QT BD Oct15 ILYBINILWY W filed 1/25/16
Ancaire, WW shared this is her home and does not want to move out. She is emotionally attached to property because her mom grew up in it (and it was to be her inheritance). But we bought it from IL at market value and remodeled entire home to take advantage of what it offers now to a young family. As for me, this is home (like W). I feel I did not turn my back on MR so why should I have to move out. Also, cost of living (rent) is very high (and moving further out to neighboring cities is killer with the commute).
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If she is indeed having an A with OM, right now, she needs to lose the benefits of being married.
W told me she has nothing to lose other than finance support. So I am trying to let go by having her contribute to cost of living and think of savings.. in the end she would be better off too since she is a spender and has acknowledged she has no concept of a budget.
Hi TxHubby, I have both DB and DR. Honestly, my 180 is just what LBH not suppose to do with a WW. Show affection, pay attention, small gifts.. this would be my 180.. reflecting on my sit I can honestly say I was an a$$.
I think for myself it's not to focus on her.. light blub going off.. currently this would be a 180 from me.. find what makes me happy and focus on that rather than what may make WW happy.
Yes, the question of what things can be done to 180. In my sitch, my wife often said that i was emotionally unavailable, didn't give her as much physical attention as she needed, came off as selfish and self absorbed, and couldn't understand her feelings. 2 of those things I can 180 right now. 2 of them I cannot as we are physically separated (living in different places) and she is still in contact with affair partner, so she doesn't want me to meet her emotional needs, which makes things rather difficult. My D is my primary tie to her, so I try to use D interactions via text or phone calls to exhibit the 180s. That's actually what my coach prescribed today.
Me:36 W: 27 D2 T10 M:2.5 Filed D 1/14/16 BD: Sep 15 A Discovered: 11/17/15 She moves out 11/19/15
