Late to the game

[Free]

Vice, sounds like you bought yourself some time for now. I hope the best for you to work things out.
Bond, compliments from her were rare at best. Looking back, there were a few "you look handsome" or "you did a nice job in the yard".
I'm freaking out right now. My neighbor just called me to go over a quote he received from a tree removal contractor to remove trees between our properties. He mentioned that he saw my wife go into her car with a big file box and left.
The box he described is where I keep all of the financial files.
This just took a bad turn.
I am completely numb right now.

[vise82]

Hey Free,

You are going to feel a lot of emotions, just don't make decisions based on emotion. Check in with the forum first before you do anything big.

You can get through this.

[Free]

I'm pretty sure W filed yesterday. No need to bring in all financial docs for a consult.
No idea what to do right now. Do I continue on the same pleasant detachment path? Do I completely drop the rope?
The emotional roller coaster is back in full effect.
I knew there was a possibility of this happening all along, but now it is real. Hope blurs reality sometimes.
Any advice would be great right now.
Thanks all.

[Dawgs]

Hi Free! I know it [censored] - am right there with you. Haven't as of yet caught up on your situation, but if you want to know if your W filed, contact your county court house (if you are in the States...).

[vise82]

Hey Free,

I doubt she filed. If anything it was a consult. Does your W have the funds to file or retain a lawyer?

Continue with DBing and as part of that is dropping the rope. Continue with the same pleasant detach path. Until you know more don't change what you are doing. Continue to work on you.

[Free]

Not filed yet, or at least not in the system yet.
I do not believe she has the funds but I'm sure she could borrow it if needed.
I've read a lot of post that say "do what works". Since June, nothing has worked towards the M.
Dropping the rope means to lose any hope of R. Whoever invented the phrase "Hope is a dangerous thing" was on the money.
I have felt numb since BD, but never more than today.
For the first time in months, it is hard to function. I'll continue pleasantly detaching, but I feel the urge to break all 37 rules today in a big way.

[vise82]

Hey Free,

How are things going?

[Free]

Thanks for checking in Vice. I wasn't served, so I have that going for me. The thought of being served at any moment is not good.
I'm continuing with GAL and detachment. Im also spending more time with the kids. They never say a word about what is happening, but they know it and feel it.

[vise82]

hey Free,

Good to hear that you spending more time with the kids. What do you do for GAL?

[Free]

Lots of walking/jogging, going to the gym, or hanging with friends. I try to avoid the bar scene, but I've enjoyed the few times I've gone to them.
I spend a lot of time reading different post here and also re-reading DR.

I think I found my man voice again, and I'm going to use it.
Of course, in a friendly, detaching way.
I can see that I have evolved into the classic nice guy, especially since BD. I basically took all blame for everything wrong in our M and became a quiet blob of jelly so I did not further upset W.
Jelly blobs are not very worthy of respect, so I'm bringing a part of the old me back. The louder, more talkative part. The part that speaks with confidence. Even if my W does not respect me, I will.