Working in child care can be profitable. You can get D's child care for free, and you could do it from your home (if you baby proofed your home). In my state 1 person operating a child care business out of the home can provide care for up to 5 children. Plus you can deduct a portion of many household expenses on taxes (mortgage, food, cleaning supplies, water, electricity, etc.)
Are you good with children?
Do you have any neighbors/friends with children, that would be willing to bring their kids to you?
If so, kick him out, run your business out of the house, while taking on some child support payments form him. He wants to leave, let him leave.
Me: 32 W: 29 T:8 M: 6 D4 S2 M - 8/2008 W is not happy - 1/2014 W wants D - 9/2014 W moved out - 11/2014 D filed - 1/23/2015 D'ed - 2/25/2015 Gave X the Letter - 11/10/2015
You talk about his money saying he cant afford 2 places. You are right, but you have to stop thinking about his finances as your finances. There is no way around it, that will be gone soon. You have to start today and get something for your. Walk dogs, watch children, or anything. It can just be temporary, until you can figure out what you really want.
Next, file for support, like today. It takes months for it to kick in and it sounds like you dont have that much time as it is.
I am not saying it will be easy, but I promise you, if you really wanted to stay, even in the expensive city, you can stay. Or you can move back and live a little easier and focus on you.
Me: 42 H: 45 M: 18 yrs T: 20 yrs D: 17 D: 15 S: 12 I kicked him out 8/21/15 I will DB until March 21st 2017, that is it!
I was thinking more. I still think if you wanted to, you could stay. But let's start preparing in case you dont or cant stay. We can try and figure out how to make moving as smooth and easy as possible.
I remember you saying you dont know anyone. That is scary, but that is temporary. We are all here for you at any time. But ou can get out and meet people when you move. It could be extremely exciting if you allow it to be!
I dont know what will happen in the next few weeks, but you will not be alone through it.
Me: 42 H: 45 M: 18 yrs T: 20 yrs D: 17 D: 15 S: 12 I kicked him out 8/21/15 I will DB until March 21st 2017, that is it!
Thank you all. I don't have enough time to respond right now, but want your opinions on this:
I knew he was coming back for the holidays on Saturday, but not for how long, so I emailed and asked. Also added funny little comment about D to set a friendly tone - we've only texted a bit since his rant on thursday and only about D. He writes back that he doesn't think the project that has kept him out of town will happen, so that unless we can agree on a plan, he will come back to the apartment this saturday and stay through January (until the lease is up) as he can no longer stay in this limbo.
What to do? He has made it very clear many times that he is done with this M. I don't know what's going on with OW. But a tiny naive part of me still hopes we could reignite the flame if we were together under the same roof..
Well, if it were me, and I make lots of mistakes, I'd probably set him up a nice little sleeping area on the sofa. It would be nice for D to get to spend some time with him, and you could DB like a pro.
That's my opinion...best wait for a few others, to be safe.
Sometimes I think it is so much harder when they are home.
But, it should not make one difference if he was home or on the moon. Your life is yours now and he is not part of that. If he chooses to live in the same house, fine, but NOT the same room. You have to be firm on this. The bedroom is only for 2 monogamous, committed, married people. (Unless you agree on a more open M, which is sounds like you have not).
When he is there you must do one important thing. It is critical!
FOCUS ON YOU!
When he is not there, there is one REALLY REALLY important thing you must do.
FOCUS ON YOU!
I am trying to imagine if my H moved back in without wanting to R, what would I do different. I think I would find reasons to go out a heck of a lot more.
Me: 42 H: 45 M: 18 yrs T: 20 yrs D: 17 D: 15 S: 12 I kicked him out 8/21/15 I will DB until March 21st 2017, that is it!
Well, we live in a 1 bedroom apartment. D sleeps with me in the bedroom. He would have to sleep on an air mattress in the living room.
It would be So disturbing to have him there. He can't look me in the eye, he has so much resentment for me. But it would be nice to have someone help out with D for a bit. I could run more often, something I've been neglecting. I could go out at night after putting her to bed. Hmm.........
If he has made it abundantly clear that he is done with the M, why let him come back?
Me: 32 W: 29 T:8 M: 6 D4 S2 M - 8/2008 W is not happy - 1/2014 W wants D - 9/2014 W moved out - 11/2014 D filed - 1/23/2015 D'ed - 2/25/2015 Gave X the Letter - 11/10/2015
