hi slowly-- i love reading the posts that people have written to you about the differences you've made in their lives!
i wanted to share with you a baby step i've made, because your help has really given my a lot of comfort and encouragement during this time....and i think you and all of our friends on this site should "share credit".
on friday i met with my W so that i could pick up my mail and the house keys. i am moving back in next week and she has found a place of her own. (not sure if she's moving with the OM or not...didn't ask). well when we met she gave me a big hug and as we sat down for dinner she held my hand. (i was very surprised.) we had a very pleasant conversation and it was very apparent that there was an emotional connection that has been missing for awhile. i complemented her on her appearance and she blushed and smiled! she did the same for me and i think i did the same thing.
as we reached her car, we both had the feeling that this is a "goodbye" of sorts, as she is moving out of the apartment. i said something to the effect of "i guess there won't be many times when we 'have' to see each other anymore"....and she replied, "i hope we still choose to". i replied that i would like that. then we hugged and as we hugged she started to cry. i mean really, really cry! she whispered "I'm sorry" in my ear as we embraced. i didn't say anything at that point...i thought it best to just continue to hold her. i then told her that i just wanted her to be happy...and she told me the same thing. then he stopped hugging and her eyes were red and full of tears. i grabbed her hand and said some nice things and then we kissed....for an extended period....not one of those 'bedroom' kisses but very loving just the same.
as i turned to walk away i made sure to smile at her (she said the first thing she noticed about me was my smile) and she smiled back, through the tears.
now, i know that our separation continues....and i know that she is still with the OM....but i also feel this was a really positive baby step for us to take. and i also really feel that it wouldn't be possible without the help of friends like YOU!!! you have made a difference in my life and i want to be here for you too!!
it sounds like you are on the right path with your goals and all of us here are with you!!