Cali, I'm so sorry to read this and my heart goes out to you. I know people always say that trying to piece is tough, tough and more tough. You feel as though you have made some mistakes, but it is an incredibly difficult situation and it would be astonishing if you had got everything right.
Whatever happens next, you have come such a long way developmentally already. As you say, for now doing nothing sounds like a good plan and I hope other wise posters will come along and offer support too.
Take care my friend ((((((Cali))))))
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
