hi totally, randy and jen - thank you so much for the encouragement. still feeling a little fragile, but ready to climb out of my hole i think. i've also just read an amazing post by sage summarising the book 'panic to power' - it has made me feel ready to take action

well, yesterday was tough as i had this 'resumed relationship' hanging over my head. nevertheless, we had a good day, went for a run together (H invited me), lazed about in the morning, got intimate (i felt bold enough to initiate after atlanta dave's incredible experience) and H took me out to a swanky dinner. got held close going to sleep.

negatives - well here i am, unable to sleep crazymaking about what this resumed contact is all about. H maintains it is nothing more that phone chat (probably because OW's H is keeping such close tabs on her )

i've also learnt that H feels quite threatened by me - career wise i've been a lot more successful, and most of our family and friends know this. i used to downplay my accomplishments, did not hang out with people in my work circle as H was often 'bored' in their company. without realising it, i ended up being isolated. well, no more. i'm good at what i do, am appreciated for it, and H will just have to deal with it

next post coming up on revised goals, time to think of me more than H or the R thanks again for being here, folks. it means a lot to be able to rant and not unravel too much in H's company. hugs, slowly

A Liberal Allowance of Time