His 2nd MLC and I am driving the other way!

[Mona52]

job suggested I pop over here with the cool kids. I qualify because my H is a MLC expert or master or king...

He is either on his second MLC or he is finishing one that almost killed both of us when it started in 2004.

Rewind to 2004, we had 3 kids, D4, D3 and S eight months.

On our wedding anniversary he moved to another state with OW. I had no idea. I went to the police to file a missing person's report. Because he seriously just up and vanished, no bomb, no warning.

I found him when he went to work on Monday. He told me crazy stories like he was living in a church and needed to be with God.

For months I was 100% sure he was in a cult. He said and did the craziest things.

The 'cult' turned out to be OW. They had a bouncing baby girl 10 months later.

I DB'ed my tush of for almost 3 years and he came home. Happily ever after.... Until he was caught sending and receiving nude picts to a girl online in 2012. He promised it meant nothing... blah blah blah.

Lately he has been working less, and less and less. He has also been spending more and more and more money. He cashed in his retirement and it is GONE. He spends all night on the PC and I sleep alone every night.

In August I kicked him out. I thought we would be better working through our issues apart. He decided D was the solution.

I found out the reason he has been spending all of his nights on the PC... He has an online OW that lives a few states away.

After he moved out, he finally got a job! He moved into an apartment he can in no way afford and he has been coming to me and my family to financially bail him out.

I have refused, which was impossibly hard.

I cant imagine he will be able to live there for more than 3 or 4 more months before he is evicted. So I have to really be strong and not give him money.

Thankfully, I am a completely new person from the first MLC. I was a stay at home mom then, now I have a successful career. I have confidence, something I had ZERO of last time, and I am able to detach myself from his MLC... most of the time.

I still need help and support from the people on this board. I am now 50% sure I want to save my M. As long as I allow the smallest chance, I will stay here.

As job has said a million times, I am moving forward but leaving the door slightly ajar.

H is in a depression. Not my fault, not my problem. I am not trying to sound cold, but it is so far out of my control to help him. Me worrying about what I need to do next to help him is completely pointless. He does not want my help and any attempt to help him blows up in my face, every single time.

More than anything in the world I want to look at my cell phone right this second and see a text from him "help"
But that is never gonna happen. I can, however, help me and the kids. So my goals and focus are directly on me. (If you guys just keep reminding me of that, well that would be grand)