in house S (5)

[vise82]

Hey Sandi,

thanks for that great post, I needed that right now. I am sure it will help everyone else in some way too.

Yesterday Went to my S7 Christmas concert, W was texting me before about video taping it and I said that the camera needed batteries. She texted back she would pick some up, I said I would take care of it. I found some batteries at home and the camera worked, but during the concert battery light came on. More of the same, she gives me the look like I was an incompetent fool and couldn't do anything right. I don't know why she cant just let it roll off her back. then the camera kept working, It worked till the last song, and she handed me her ipad to get the last part. She did it with no comment or look. I was surprised, she let it go. This is a change in her.

I put the kids to bed and W helped getting the kids ready. After W watched TV but was getting messages on her phone. I took the dog for a walk/run. W was getting frustrated witht he dog and was glad I was taking him out. 45 min later I get back and W asks me to get the gift she bought for the kids out of the trunk to look at. SO I get them she was getting more texts. We were on the couch together and her feet were to the side I move my hand on the couch and she moves her feet away. A sign she needs more time before she wants any touch from me. It was a slightest move away though so not too bad. more of a flinch.

We go to our separate rooms for bed and she talks to me in her room. I go to bad and say good night as I leave her room. Nothing from her. Then I hear another text and an hour later another text.

As you can tell this texting at night is new and has me worried. She has been leaving her phone down stairs for months and last night she had it in the spare bedroom where she sleeps. I will have to watch what happens with that.

This morning W was telling me to watch a movie with the kids because the rented movies need to go back. I asked about the other movie, she said that one has to go back too. Its not a kid movie so I was thinking of asking her today if she wanted to watch it with me tonight before it has to be returned. I will wait till she contacts me first.

I notice how much she spent on gift yesterday. Now I normally just let her get the gifts and I don't see how much is spent. I am not going to say anything right now. I have agreed to her way of spending for Christmas. For the new year a budget is coming out. I can see how much is being spent and it is way beyond my comfort zone. When I grew up we did not celebrate Christmas or birthdays, I rarely got anything new being in a large family. It is all so hard for me to see the value of giving so much to such young kids. I guess its the love language thing.

One day at a time.