Jpeg - how are you doing? Any updates on the dinner with the kids?
I have to agree with Sotto. You don't want to slam and lock the door so that he can never get back in. It was fine that you acknowledged that he made you smile. I see nothing wrong with that at all.
You don't have to be mean. Just don't let him manipulate you into forming a friendship with him, when what you really want is for him to be a spouse. I think many of them try and put exes into a friend-zone so they don't feel so badly about their actions. He may be manipulating you into a friendship so the kids will warm up to him again. Shame on him, if that's the case!
Strong, calm, and friendly. You know which spot he belongs in in your life, and you won't accept anything else - Especially with OW in the picture. Let him do his own work on his relationship with the kids. They're all grown. He screwed it up and he needs to be the one to fix it.
You have such kindness and compassion in you, and you love him dearly - it's going to be hard to be on the watch for manipulations, but you're going to have to be so you don't get stuck playing a role you never wanted.
