hi LL2F - thanks for the boost, it has really helped. well, H and I were supposed to visit my mum this weekend, but with the 'resumed contact with OW saga' and our R discussion, we felt we needed some time to ourselves more than visiting. so, I am looking forward to a nice relaxing weekend, to really collect myself, and think through carefully how to handle myself.
i've been seriously dbing since march 21st, so it is not quite a month. before that i had read the books and applied some ideas, they did help, but i have just the journals from march 21st to go back to. it was 11 days after OW called to say A was over. i was wise enough to recognise that was not the end of my problems. i need to remember this, and manage my expectations
i need to go back to the habit of posting positives and negatives. i'm letting one issue cloud my entire world, which is not constructive. as rotz once pointed out, it seems to be so much easier to be positive with everyone else, i need to start doing the same with me
so, my next post will be on the positives of yesterday, and after that an update to my goals. in our R talk, H came out with an interesting comment. "I don't want anyone telling me what to do" this was in response to my suggestion that he may be able to get over OW if they were not on the phone every day. WTF sooo, i need to look at whether i'm coming across as controlling. this may need its own exploration. sigh.
i'm in no hurry, this is MY life, i get to choose what happens to me. i have all weekend to enjoy mapping out my plan, goals, self indulgences. re-connect with friends. dazed (i miss him so) was right, i have this community, H and OW don't - i'm better equipped to handle this with grace and dignity.
enough of the 'i's - have a ball everyone. lots of love, slowly
