I now see neither my wife or I have been happy in our marriage for a very long time. I have be so obsessed with my fear of losing her since the affair that I could not recognize disastrous state of our marriage. If I don't pull a miracle out of my a$$ there's not much hope for this marriage.
What this means going forward I'm not sure but having a pragmatic understanding of relationship can't hurt.
I too share this feeling. I saw we were not good buy I hid under depression.I think now that my depression was largely due to being unhappy in M. And the depression surely made the M worse.I accept my part in this and have beaten my depression and am becoming a really good man. I have become closer to my boys. Without hogging your thread, what I am trying to day is that this situation has truely been a gift and because of it we will have a good future. That is in our control.
As for our wives, it there is no magic pill. We are standing for our beliefs with & against) hope.But aslong as one heart holds on there is hope.
The fear of losing your W has not stopped you losing her. It is not serving you. So if you haven't already you need to get passed that fear.
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
