Anicare, I would like to go on this journey of self discovery with you. I will answer your questions either today or tomorrow. Today is my busiest day of the week. Work, IC then final in my night class
Dear Jelly, thank you for the support. I would like to continue this dialog with you, maybe by the end of the year I could discover what my anchor is. I will reflect
Thanks pho, I am thankful to have you and others in my life. I don't know what would have happened if I did not have the support. You have made a difference in my life.
I now see neither my wife or I have been happy in our marriage for a very long time. I have be so obsessed with my fear of losing her since the affair that I could not recognize disastrous state of our marriage. If I don't pull a miracle out of my a$$ there's not much hope for this marriage.
What this means going forward I'm not sure but having a pragmatic understanding of relationship can't hurt.
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
Mu, optimism has kicked my ass many a day. Nothing wrong with having some hope, we all need that. I too have had a few rough years looking back at it. It was in large part my own fault. But remember that our W have their part in it. Don't beat yourself up too much.
Christmas is a time for miracles. Just don't rely on them too much!
Have a great day
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
I now see neither my wife or I have been happy in our marriage for a very long time. I have be so obsessed with my fear of losing her since the affair that I could not recognize disastrous state of our marriage. If I don't pull a miracle out of my a$$ there's not much hope for this marriage.
What this means going forward I'm not sure but having a pragmatic understanding of relationship can't hurt.
I too share this feeling. I saw we were not good buy I hid under depression.I think now that my depression was largely due to being unhappy in M. And the depression surely made the M worse.I accept my part in this and have beaten my depression and am becoming a really good man. I have become closer to my boys. Without hogging your thread, what I am trying to day is that this situation has truely been a gift and because of it we will have a good future. That is in our control.
As for our wives, it there is no magic pill. We are standing for our beliefs with & against) hope.But aslong as one heart holds on there is hope.
The fear of losing your W has not stopped you losing her. It is not serving you. So if you haven't already you need to get passed that fear.
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
