i've been reading the posts on your site and i just wanted to chime in. first of all, you have been so fabulous to me and many others here and i just wanted to thank you again! your words always make me feel better and allow me to re-focus on what we need to do. you've also given me 'permission' at times to feel the feelings that are completely natural and normal....and not to totally beat myself silly over it. so thank you very much!
i believe that i can understand what you are saying about the A. my wife and i are still separated as you know....and as you've read my previous posts, i believe through the DR, the friends made on this site, and other relationship books etc that i have a pretty clear 'rational' understanding of what my W is feeling in her A. as you know, she really likes the OM a lot and has no intention of ending their relationship. and i understand that her R with him muct run its course (and it will) and until then...well there's not much that i can do.
still....that doesn't mean that there aren't times that although my rational/logical side understands that my emotional side is just torn up inside and goes absolutely bonkers!!! that's when i'll take my nice long walk and talk to myself, God, whomever will listen (=....and allow those feelings to be aired out where they will do no damage.
funny story....one day on my walk, in the midst of a long diatribe about my wife's A....she called me on my mobile phone!! i composed myself and smiled and had a nice conversation with her (i think i posted about it on my now what thread). if she only knew what i was thinking and saying just a few bloody seconds before she called! (= ha-ha-ha.....but she never knew....and she said some very nice things during the talk. things that surprised me....would love your input when you have a moment.
i think you're doing great and continue to focus on the goals as michele says....i really like that michele did talk about allowing our spouses the room to let the A go....and giving them permission to 'grieve' the end of their R. i never thought about it that way before....and i'm sure if i had never read that i would have done everything "all wrong" like i had been before divorce remedy!!!
you're doing great slowly....and you're doing a great help to so many others too....you are a blessing!
