dday, getting out of the muck

[dday]

Thanks grl for checking in. I can't sit here and wait forever. Maybe she will catch back up? No way of knowing.

Ancaire, thanks for the encouragement. It's amazing how things can change inside of ourselves when we let go. Trying to control the anger part. But I am not afraid of doing something that MAY push her away. She is walking away anyway. But burying my feelings to save her some potential grief... not anymore. I will try not to be mean about it, but I am not going to sacrifice my own happiness for someone who doesn't want me.

Linkin park song came on yesterday.
"I tried so hard, and got so far. But in the end, it doesn't even matter. I had to fall, to lose it all. But in the end, it doesn't even matter. I put my trust in you..."

Fitting. Didn't matter what I had done, I couldn't bust this D. It has went a long way inside of me, which is awesome. It's not what brought me here, but probably more important anyway.