This is the start of a whole thought process, so it's a couple of random snippets only. Hopefully you'll be able to add your own thoughts in too, and hopefully others can/will as well.
Apologies in advance if some of this is very step by step and totally obvious.
Disconnecting yourself from social media etc, can be a good thing. It gives you the time and space to get your own thoughts together. You're reclaiming that space for yourself. So I would see that as a positive, empowering move on your part.
As to what you tell other people...I'm struggling with this one too. I want to say something fairly neutral, that lets them know it was his decision, but that misses out all of the other stuff.
As much as I want people to know what he's done and how wronged I feel, I don't want to become just person who has been wronged in other people's eyes. So much of my identity was tied up with my H anyway, because of his job and how successful he was. I think it would be good for me for people to see me more as my own person now. I don't even know if that's a coherent thought and if it makes sense.
The down side of this is that it means I tend to keep other people who might be able to help me at arm's length.
I know that trusting people was an issue for me (even before my H and the OW, plural), so it can also merge into that.
So there's more stuff for me to think about and come to terms with in some way or another.
Maybe a good thing for me to do would be to pick a couple of people I feel a connection with, and confide *a little* more in them? That would push me forward out of my own comfort zone a bit, help me tackle some of my own issues and ultimately grow a bit more?
Will think a bit more about the embarrassment questions too.
