Striving to keep the peace within

[mleigh4]

Still venting! Lol. I know some of you may think I am crazy. I mean, H wants to see Star Wars with us, he wants to be here for Christmas, all things I should be wanting, right? Thing is, this has nothing to do with S and I, this is H being his selfish self to have what he wants when he wants it. Then continue on back to his single life. Yes, it leaves me feeling used, frustrated and pi$$ed!

I hope I don't regret Christmas. I want my son home all day, I hope I don't regret having H here in order to have that. I am worried that I will. Thanksgiving was wonderful just being able to do my own thing....

IDK, I am feeling a bit confused about all this right now. His comment really set it off. "I want to be a part of these things" Tough sh$t! You should have thought of that when you bailed, left me with a huge house to take care of by myself, forced S and I to split apart, threw away 15 years of our life, have S growing up in a split home. Tough!


I am guessing I would not be very good at reconciliation of any sort. If he reaches out for genuine reasons, he may get his hand bit. I am strong, but maybe not so strong in forgiving and forgetting.

Just getting this out here....feels good