dday, getting out of the muck

[dday]

Thanks mu. In a way, I have made a bit of peace with it. I don't want it. Still think it's the worst mistake she can make. But, she isn't herself. Or at least not the person I fell for. She seems to be in a huge hurry to get this done. I told her tonight that I think this is a huge destructive mistake, and she is excited about it. She said she just wants it to quit looming over us. Crazy.

So, I will sign it. I don't want someone who doesn't want me back. I want her to want me. Since she doesn't now, I have to let her go. She will fall and skin her knees and I will not be there to pick her up. Her circus. Her monkeys.

It's sad. It's wrong. It's painful. But, I have to keep moving forward, and not "hulk out". I have the boys this weekend, and Friday I have a party that STBX will be at. She may in fact be my x by that time.

I am going to let one of my friends fix me up after that. May be too soon. May feel all wrong. Never know until you try. I'm sure it will be akward, it's been 14+ years since I dated anyone but W. Leaving the door cracked, bit I am going to keep walking.

Thanks for the concern!