Now what?

[JksD]

Seriously, where does this man think he going after the holidays? I hope its the dumpster at our local Walmart, cuz that is all he will be able to afford.

This had me chuckling out loud. Melweb, wherever your H is going to be, make sure that you're not going with him, unless it's to a better place in your marriage.

Btw, I remembered that I tried some otc supplements from !herb. Gaba, melatonin and true calm. Taken together, they really work to knock me out. Also do you have the brand blackmores where you are? They have this sleep well pills that work quite well.

[gonegrl]

Melweb, you are very funny. My H has been buying very expensive grooming products, and just bought the whitening strips this week as well.

And if you take TrueCalm, work up the dosage slowly as it might send you running for the toilet. It's good stuff though, has magnesium in it, which is excellent for emotional well being. I would start with half a teaspoon though and work up very slowly.

[melweb]

Pho--I have concluded that he is going to end up looking like a walking, talking Ken doll. Albeit, an older, grey haired, living out of a dumpster Ken doll. Perhaps this is is goal.

I already take a magnesium supp for migraines, so I may stay away from that. I will keep experimenting. Thanks

So, H came home from biz trip early. He was in a fine mood, but tired and said he hurt his back. He napped, I went about my day. After dinner, he wanted me to rub some Icy Hot on his back. I did and asked if he wanted a massage. He declined. Not 10 minutes later, he came back looking for that massage and I did. Then he jumped under the covers and said he wanted too 'snug.' Ummmmm.....ok. We kissed, he said it was nice but he should go. Well he did not, and you can imagine where I am going with this.;)

It was nice and what we both needed/wanted. After, we popped popcorn and stayed in bed and watched Two and 1/2 Men.

Sunday was ok, no talk of the night before, but he was being reserved, but kissed me good night last night. Well a peck on the lips. This morning, as he left for work, he did tell he was going to gym after work. Maybe a 'bye.' No kiss

I am not expecting 'over night results,' but is this typical?
Not only do I feel like he is Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, but I feel like I am in the movie Groundhog Day, and everyday I am starting at Square One.

[melweb]

The Groundhog Day movie continues. After a pretty swell weekend, last night we was aloof and distant. No good-night kiss.

Well, today he e-mails me to see if I want to go to a Christmas party on Saturday. He has already told his boss that he is leaving me after the holidays, so I am unsure why he is doing this. (Its pretty bad when one is excited that their own husband inviting them to a Christmas party)

Personally, I think this would be good for us; to get out of the house without kiddos, have a good time, etc

Any other thoughts on this before I RSVP?

[beckyb]

I would not go to a party. That is H caking eating. He expressed his intention to leave you to his boss and now wants to parade you around. No way.

[melweb]

Hm. Good point.

[beckyb]

melweb, I haven't read through your entire sitch yet, but it doesn't sound H has backed off his intention to move out. If that is the case maybe you need to set some boundaries. He can't expect you to be his wife in everyway from now until Jan 1 and then not any more.

[melweb]

Thanks becky, I see your point and had not thought of it that way.

The latest from him was on Saturday when I got "I am just not sure."

I need to think on this some more

[melweb]

Thinking out loud here: (And trying to mind read)

Why not just go without me? In fact, why even tell me at all? He could have just gone and I would have been none the wiser.

Why would he risk having to eat crow in front of boss. This is totally NOT his style. He has moved quite far up in this company, and looking to go farther, so appearances are everything.

[Cristy]

Hi Melweb,

First, you crack me up. I seriously laughed out loud at the Ken doll in the Walmart dumpster comment. Priceless!

How did finals wrap up for your boys?

Becky is right. H is cake eating in a major way. H hasn't had to deal with any consequences at this point, has he? If his choice is to leave, continue to be the Melweb only a fool would leave. Your rendezvous may have been what thought you needed, but keep your eye on the big picture.

You are at a very fragile point in this relationship and it would be extremely helpful to know what your next move should be. Please call me to discuss our DB coaching program at 303-444-7004.

Cristy
Resource Coordinator
The Divorce Busting Center
303-444-7004