in house S (5)

[vise82]

Hey,

W worked late and I took care of the kids, W came home and watched a Christmas movie with me and the kids. I put kids to bed and then I just laid in my bed. I am loosing energy for this sitch. I go down stairs and W wants to go over what we have for gifts for the kids. I get all the stuff I bought and it looks like we have to get more for the older kid. I have a couple of hand made gift for the kids that I was going to give by myself. I don't know if I should mention them to W. I noticed she is calling the rooms we sleep in My room your room, instead of spare bedroom or our room.

I find I am talking in my sleep now as it wakes me up, I will be saying W name calling out for her. She hasn't mentioned anything about it so I guess she doesn't hear it.

I just don't know how to turn this around, I want to temp check further but I am afraid of rejection.

I am starting to create a fantasy about how Christmas is going to go but I know I have to go into it with no expectations. I imagine W putting her rings back on and then just sitting with me as the kids open all there gifts.

This morning I thought I heard her call my name when she was in bed. I was up first and when she came down I looked her in the eye and said good morning with a smile. then as I left the house she was in the same room as the oldest and I hugged and said good bye to him. I look up and W sais good bye to me before I could say anything. So that's a nice change, I said good bye and left.

I am so cautious right now, it hard to trust W right now. I don't know where her head is at so I have to take it moment by moment. We are going to my S7 Christmas concert tonight together. W mentioned taking two cars because she wants to shop after. I think I will push for one car. I don't like the two cars idea, then the kids have to choose who they go with.