The WW does sense when her H truly lets go. She can tell if it authentic. Many WW's will shift into a pursuit mode, simply b/c there is a part of her that wants to keep him loving her. Don't misunderstand what I am saying. It's not that she wants him back, but she kind of wants him to pine away for her. That is why I often encourage the LBH to act as if he is dumping her, b/c of the powerful effect it has with a WW's mindset. I doubt the DB coaches would give that advice. It's just my opinion about the WW.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
D - when you read my thread, you will see that somehow, someway, without you saying a word....they know. I just had one of the most frightening episodes of my life because I finally dropped the rope on Friday. I never spoke to H...but he knew he'd lost control somehow. It is freaky stuff.
Please try and stop feeling guilty. Focus on giving her what she says she wants. You letting go is probably your best shot at getting her back. It seems crazy, but it is absolutely true. And if she wants to go on her merry way? You'll be okay - because you dropped the rope. You didn't choose this. You've fought hard. You did not give up.
You're a terrific father, a great friend...some woman is going to be extremely lucky one day! It may or may not be W, but some lucky lady is going to wind up with a fantastic man.
Thanks sandi for the insight. If it makes her stop and think about things, that is great. If not, nothing I can do.
Ancaire, thanks for the compliment. I know that I have tried harder and done more than 90% of people that go through D. I will always be able to hold my head high with that. I am going to focus more on GAL, meeting more people, and having as much fun with my boys as I can.
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
I swear she knows when I am doing ok, and has to push something. I had a nice evening with the boys, ate chicken wings with them in front of the tv. When she stopped to pick then up, we were in the middle of a tickle fight. So, she just texted me about the D papers. She has also been texting about me using the last couple days of my vacation to bail her out so she doesn't have to find a sitter. Doing this will cost me about 1000 in lost wages, and save her a couple hundred. Plus, it's our down time at work, which for a mechanic, me, is the busy time.
I feel bad about not hanging out with the kids for a couple extra days, but I need the cash. And, she needs to deal with the consequences for once. I am done bailing her out. I honestly don't even want to be around her anymore. She acts like everything is fine. Blows my mind.
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
Tl2, I am going through an angry stage, with a strong dose of reality. Not like "hulk mad", but disappointed in her actions and aloofness. Not my monkeys.
Boys were asking me about a basketball camp I had promised them a couple years ago. They are now old enough. I told them that we can't do it now. That hurt all of us. I can't afford it, or the week I would have to take off since it's 200 miles away.
More ramblings: W used to fix a meal I enjoyed. After bd she told me she hated it. Guess what she fixed the boys for Sunday dinner. Then they told me that they are getting chickens. Something I wanted to do 2 years ago, and W said that she didn't want them. So I dropped it. Wtf?
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
Svcks when kids are disappointed in the changes in stds of living. My kid keeps asking about trips overseas but I told kid that it's a little out of the question. I need the cash for my car and the new place.
But maybe you can do something else that the boys will be equally thrilled with?
Ah, the warped warped minds of WAS. Don't rise to the bait? But I agree with the wtf.
Last edited by Grlonfr; 12/15/1510:27 AM.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
